User blog:Tater Chip Girl/Where Your Loyalties Lie - Chapter 06
DISCLAIMER: The Harry Potter universe and its characters belong to J.K. Rowling. No profit is being made from this story and any copyright infringement is completely unintended. Other characters created for this story are mine and should not be used in other materials or at other websites without my permission. WARNINGS: Consensual non-graphic M/F sex; consensual non-graphic M/M sex; some strong language and violence. PAIRINGS: Snape/Hermione, Harry/Ron, Dumbledore/? The Lesson Begins For Hermione Granger, Monday morning brought a few fleeting moments of sleepy, blissful ignorance as she yawned and stretched in her warm bed, listening to the pre-breakfast bustle and chatter of her roommates. A perfectly normal morning - all was as it should be. Then she remembered. The weekend's events came rushing back, shooting a frigid burst of fear through her gut. She sat up quickly, staring in blind panic at the shadowy interior of her curtained bed as her just-awakened brain sorted rapidly through random thoughts. Snape. Potions Class. I have to go. I have to face him. What'll I do? What'll I say? What will *he* do? With a grim sigh of resignation, Hermione made herself open the bed curtains, get up and go about her morning routine of grooming and dressing. She hung back until the last possible moment, until all she had time for was a quick dash to the dining hall and a few swift bites of breakfast, followed by a sprint to her first class of the day. She noted with great relief the absence of Professor Snape at the staff table. He was gone during the midday meal as well. As they invariably do when one is dreading something, the hours until afternoon Potions flew by until at last Hermione found herself standing outside the classroom door, willing herself to go in. "Come on, Hermione," urged Ron, tugging on the sleeve of her robe. "What're you waiting for?" Heart pounding uncontrollably, she followed him in and took her seat beside Harry, bracing herself for whatever Snape had in store for her. You can do this, she told herself.'' Just don't call attention to yourself. Don't do anything at all to upset him. Stay calm, stay calm ...'' "What's that spell you're doing?" Harry asked from her right. Hermione's head jerked around to face him. "What?" "Your lips were moving." "Oh." Hermione blushed and busied herself with sharpening a quill. "Just memorizing something, that's all." Harry shrugged and went back to arranging his Potions ingredients. The room went suddenly still as Snape entered, casting a scowling glance over the assembled students. Hermione took a few deep breaths as she listened to him approach his desk at the front of the room, then forced herself to raise her head. Their eyes met and held for a split second before he looked away. It was exactly like looking at a stone wall - his eyes revealed nothing. Without missing a beat, Snape began the lesson, conducting his class in the usual manner, his surliness clearly none the worse for wear. By the time the lesson ended, Hufflepuff House was fifty points lighter, and four students (none of them Slytherins, of course) had been given detention. There were, however, two notable differences in the proceedings. First, Hermione did not once raise her hand, even though she knew the answer to every question Snape put to them. Predictably, this earned her a series of quizzical looks from Harry. Second, and even more strange - during the entire class, Snape seemed to take great pains not to acknowledge her presence in any way. He didn't speak to her, refer to her, or even look in her direction. "Boy, old Snape was sure off today," remarked Ron as he, Harry and Hermione walked down the hall together after class. "Did you see, Harry?" Harry nodded. "Yeah. I could have sworn he was ignoring Hermione on purpose. Not that it's a *bad* thing ... " He looked over at her, expecting at least rolled eyes and a lofty comment, but she walked along as if in a trance, lost in her thoughts. "Hey." Harry elbowed her, making her jump. "What's the matter with *you* today?" "Nothing," she answered distractedly. "Just thinking." She looked up as they passed the library and stopped in her tracks. "I have to look something up. See you at dinner." And she was gone. Ron and Harry stopped too, watching her retreating back with raised eyebrows. "Wonder what's got into *her* lately," said Ron, shaking his head. "I heard Dumbledore made her stay in her room all weekend. She got sick or something. Think that's what it is?" "I don't know." Harry shook his head too and started walking again. "Could be. She didn't even raise her hand in class, did you notice?" "Yeah. I think everybody noticed." Ron swallowed hard. "'Specially the ones who had to answer all the questions *instead* of her." Harry grinned and draped an arm over Ron's shoulders, giving him a vigorous shake. "Like you, for example?" Ron tried unsuccessfully to duck out from under Harry's arm. "That's not funny." "I liked the part where you mispronounced the name of that plant he asked about - what was that called again?" Harry's voice took on a tone of mock seriousness. Ron shoved him, making them both veer off course and almost run into the wall. "Shut up, you," he laughed. "Let's go play some chess. That I *know* I can do." "You're on." Precisely fifteen minutes after the evening meal (as instructed by Professor Dumbledore), Hermione stood outside Professor Snape's office, her stomach twisting into knots as she raised her hand to knock. Tonight was her first Advanced Defense lesson with him - the first of many, she reminded herself. Given the events of the past few days, Hermione's feelings on the matter were mixed - but that was beside the point. Like it or not, they were both under direct orders from Dumbledore, and there was no avoiding the situation. Mustering her courage, Hermione rapped on the door. "Come in." Snape's voice was quieter than usual, and had a strained tone to it. Maybe's he's dreading this as much as I am, she thought, carefully pushing open the door. Snape rose from his desk as she entered. "Miss Granger." He gave a slight, respectful nod and indicated a chair before his desk. Taken somewhat aback by his unexpected politeness, she closed the door behind her, sat down and waited. Snape took his seat again and stared at his hands, which were nervously fidgeting on the desk before him. "Miss Granger - " "Professor - " Snape gestured for her to go on. Hermione swallowed hard and started again. "I just want to say ... " She stopped and shot him a nervous glance. "I just want to say," she repeated, this time in a stronger voice, "I didn't mean what I said Saturday. About ... letting You-Know-Who have you." Snape's expression shifted subtly. "It was a cruel thing to say," she said, her voice softening. "I wouldn't wish that on anyone, especially - " She stopped and looked down, blushing and fiddling with her robes. Snape's jaw tightened a bit, and he looked back down at his hands, which were now clasped tightly before him. After a long, tense moment, he spoke. "I believe, Miss Granger, it is I who owe *you* an apology." Hermione's eyes widened in surprise. This was not at all what she'd expected. "My rudeness," he continued stiffly, still looking down, "was uncalled for. You were undeserving of such treatment. I conducted myself in a most ... unseemly manner, and for that I am truly sorry." Her mouth hung open in shock for a few seconds. "It's alright, really," she finally said, her voice almost a whisper. "Think nothing of it." "While there is no excuse for my behavior," Snape said, "it was prompted by ... concern for your safety." He stopped, as if struggling for the right words. "There's no need to explain," said Hermione. His obvious discomfort was making her even more nervous. It was clear he had little experience with this sort of thing. "Really, it's alri - " "I did a rather poor job of conveying that concern," he pushed on, "as well as my ... sincere gratitude for your help." Snape fell silent for a moment, then cleared his throat. "I hope you'll see fit to accept my apology." "Of course." Hermione's voice was still barely above a whisper. "I ... I hope you'll accept mine as well." Snape glanced up at her, then went back to staring at his hands. "Consider it done," he said curtly. After a moment, he rose and stood behind the desk, his fingertips resting lightly on its surface. He was obviously relieved that their conversation was over. "Your instruction in Advanced Defense will require a great deal of time and concentration from both of us," he said, sounding more like himself now. "Professor Dumbledore expects regular reports on your progress. As such, I felt it best that we ... clear the air, so to speak. I'm sure you'll agree that a certain degree of ... civility between us will help maintain the proper atmosphere and allow us to remain focused on our objective." Hermione's face fell almost imperceptibly. "Yes, sir." "Good," he said brusquely, motioning her to rise. "Come with me." Hermione followed him down the dark, narrow hall behind his office, then into one of his many storage rooms. This one smelled of pickled ... something (whether animal or vegetable, she couldn't tell). From one of the shelves, Snape drew out a strip of dark cloth. "Come here." Hermione approached nervously and stood before him. "Turn around." She did as he asked, and remained still as he tied the fabric over her eyes. "What's this for?" she asked, reaching up to feel the blindfold. "It's a necessary precaution," he replied, tying the cloth snugly behind her head. "Don't touch it." Hermione obediently lowered her hand, then jumped a little when she felt Snape place his hands on her shoulders. "Stand still." Again, she obeyed, and felt a sudden, indefinable change in her surroundings - the air was colder, and had a different smell. Snape removed the blindfold, and Hermione found herself in total darkness. "Where are we?" Her voice echoed as if she were standing in a large open space. Then the room leapt into visibility, lit by torches set high into the walls. It was windowless, with a vaulted ceiling and a tall stone door at the opposite end. Not a stick of furniture broke the empty stone vista. Snape walked around to stand in front of her. "We are now in the lower levels of the dungeons beneath Hogwarts." He lifted a hand to indicate their surroundings. "I chose this room specifically for your instruction, as it assures us of the necessary privacy. Strong wards have been placed on its door so that none may enter except the two of us, and then only in the manner in which we arrived tonight." Hermione looked at him doubtfully. "We didn't ... Apparate ... did we?" "We did." "But how?" Hermione's eyebrows shot up. "It's not possible to Apparate on the grounds, I read it in - " "Hogwarts, a History, yes, I know ... " Snape waved his hand dismissively. "A book you're quite fond of quoting, I understand. One would think, however ... " He regarded her with an air of superiority, "that someone of your supposed intelligence would know that written history is neither accurate nor complete." Hermione thought this over for a moment. "But ... but I don't even know *how* to Apparate." "You'll learn," he said. "But until such time as you have mastered the technique, I will perform all Apparations. Is that clear?" "Yes, sir." "Then let us begin." Hermione swallowed hard and watched as Snape walked towards the other end of the room, stopping about twelve feet away and turning to face her again. Without a word, Snape raised his hand, and Hermione gasped as her wand zoomed out of her pocket and into his grasp. Her feet left the floor, and she flew backwards to slam against the stone wall. Hard as she tried, she couldn't move an inch, as though a great weight held her down. A ball of pain exploded in her gut and shot through her arms and legs. When she tried to cry out, she produced only tears and soundless puffs of air. As the pain spiked and subsided, Snape approached her, coming to a stop inches from her face. "Do I have your complete and undivided attention, Miss Granger?" Unable to nod or speak, she hung helplessly against the wall and waited as more tears spilled down her face. "Good. It's time the gravity of your situation was made clear to you." Snape fixed her with a stony stare, then stepped away and turned to look at her again. "Consider your current position: I have disarmed you; I have rendered you both mute and immobile; I have caused you pain, though not nearly as much as I could have. And I have done all this effortlessly in a matter of seconds without a wand, and without speaking a single incantation. What does this tell you?" Hermione just looked at him. "You may speak." Her tongue suddenly free, Hermione let out a little whimper. "Answer the question, Miss Granger." "Why?" she said tearfully. "Why did you hurt me?" Snape regarded her quietly for a few seconds before replying, his expression unreadable. "Because, Miss Granger, pain is the best teacher. It fixes things firmly in the mind when nothing else will - its only beneficial attribute. One *remembers* pain ... " His eyes grew suddenly distant, then snapped back into focus. "I'm waiting, Miss Granger. What have you learned thus far?" Hermione sniffed and cast her eyes around the room as she tried to think. "That I can't defend myself properly?" she offered shakily. "That's part of it, yes. What else?" "I don't know." She closed her eyes, and a few more tears slipped down her face. "I don't know," she repeated in a whisper. "Allow me to enlighten you, then." Snape assumed the posture so familiar to his students during classroom lectures. "The enemy for whom you prepare is devoid of humanity. He is moved by nothing - not tears, not pleading, not pain. His sole pleasure lies in the suffering of others." He stepped closer to Hermione. "You are nothing to him, do you understand? Your life holds no more meaning for him than that of a worm on a fishing hook." "Then why would he bother with me at all?" said Hermione. "Because you have made him doubt his strength." Snape steeled himself against the the sudden memory of her light filling him, blinding him. "And that he cannot tolerate. Your power both terrifies and entices him. It will eat at his mind, little by little, until it drives him to seek you out. At first, he will offer you a place at his side, try to use that power for his own ends - " "Never!" Hermione's eyes fired with indignation. "I would never - " "Your cooperation would not be required." Snape moved closer, black eyes fixed intently on hers. "The Imperius Curse would see to that. Assuming, of course, that you were allowed to live. He finds few things more disgusting than Muggleborns." He advanced on her until he was once again mere inches from her. "Tell me, Miss Granger - do you feel I've made you suffer?" Hermione gulped and tried to look away, but he was too close for that. "Yes," she finally whispered, not knowing what else to say. Snape shook his head disdainfully. "You don't know the *meaning* of suffering. But you will soon enough, unless you get it through your head that this is *not* a game, not an extra-credit project to take up your spare time. This is the *real* world, the *Wizarding* world, with very real dangers." He grabbed her chin roughly and forced her to look at him. "Do you understand?" "Yes, sir," she whispered shakily. He let go her chin as roughly as he'd grabbed it. "I seriously doubt that you do." Shaking his head again, he walked to the center of the room, conjured a chair and sat down. "Tonight's lesson is concluded. You may come down." Hermione stared at him in shock. "What?" "You heard me - come down from that wall." "But - I can't - " Snape sat back, crossed his legs and laid his hands casually on the arms of the chair. "We are not leaving this room, Miss Granger, until your feet are back on the floor." Hermione squeezed her eyes shut as more hot tears coursed down her already sticky face. She'd come into this not knowing what to expect, but not in her wildest dreams had she imagined herself in such a position. Bastard!, she thought fiercely.'' I hate him, I hate him, I HATE HIM! How could he DO this to me???'' Gathering her resolve, she mentally ran through every incantation she knew. When she tried to speak a Summoning Spell to retrieve her wand, she found that her power of speech had once again been taken away. The room was cold, and Hermione started shivering against the chilly stone. All she could think of to do was hang there, glaring at Snape as he gazed calmly back at her at her from his comfortable chair. Bastard! she thought again. She wished fervently for Voldemort to come floating in and cast the Cruciatus on him, just so she could watch *him* suffer for a change. The thought sent an unexpected twinge through her heart as she remembered that she had already seen him suffer at the hands of the Dark Lord, just over three days ago in his office. I didn't mean it, I'm sorry. I know it's for my own good. Fresh tears came, and she focused on the flames of a nearby torch, trying to avoid Snape's fathomless dark eyes as they bored into her. Once again, she set her mind to the task of finding a way off these frigid stones. Three hours later, she was still hanging there. Her eyes had been closed for one. Snape rose and approached her cautiously, watching and listening to make sure she was really asleep. "Somnolus Extendus," he intoned, waving a hand before her face. That would ensure her continued slumber while he got her back to her room. With another gesture, he lowered her gently until her feet touched the floor. She swayed a bit, and he caught her by the arms, letting her head fall forward onto his shoulder. A familiar tingling sensation danced over his skin, the one he felt every time he got close to her. Come to think of it, it was actually a less intense version of what he'd felt when she defended him against Voldemort in his office. The memory of that night roiled up within him, bringing back the pure bliss of the moment when he'd felt her inside him. Snape slid his arms around Hermione's sleeping form and crushed her to him, sending an even stronger wave of sensation rippling through his body. My Geminus. My love. I'm sorry, so sorry for all this. But it has to be done. I can't let him take you. I won't. With one hand, Snape reached up and cradled the back of her head. "Lumos Cardia," he whispered, no longer in doubt of its success. He breathed in sharply when he felt it begin - the slow, painfully sweet pulsing of his energy flowing into her. Knowing he would be none the weaker for it, he let this go on for some time, thrilling to the feel of her warmth and weight against him. Finally, bidden by the lateness of the hour, he pulled back into himself and prepared to Disapparate. He returned Hermione's wand and summoned from the floor the blindfold he'd made her wear earlier. With a final look around the room, he pulled Hermione closer, and the two of them vanished. >>> CHAPTER 07 Category:Blog posts Category:Blog posts Category:Blog Stories Category:SS/HG Category:HP/RW